some of my ramblings...

i used to have a myspace profile, and i used the blog function on there from time to time. since i dont want to lose any of my writings i am posting those blogs here.
below are a collection of my ramblings from the past 2 years on myspace.

enjoy!!

*****

Friday, June 22, 2007

alabama hot nights


because my geography is incorrect, and while i had SAID i wanted Washington state, the universe has placed me here in the deep south.

i love it.

i spend my days wading in the mire. occassionally someone will need a tire changed.

i have placed a request for a dozen dead roses, i keep getting the live ones with real faces--

i could hang them, if i choose, tonight then, when the work is done...


****
Wednesday, June 27, 2007

ohio, black hole


someone said

"something about the seven hills"

i read some intresting things about the number seven, either in the idaho thrive or maxim.

did you know the number seven is the country code for russia?

if i were exotic my colour would be steel gray.

a peacock, seven shade of gray.

*****

Thursday, June 28, 2007

my apologies to kansas
Current mood: crushed

i slept right thru you.

i didn't breathe your air or feel your dirt on my feet.

........

whats the deal with that, moose?

you cant talk to me in a dream and expect me not to love you.

........

it's a hot night, salina.

let's drink lilac wine and blow kisses like bubbles toward colorado...


*****

Saturday, July 07, 2007

cigarette girl, part two
Current mood: incredulous


yesterday, a man bought a bunch of cigarettes. to amuse myself, i asked "Do you ever dream about cigarettes?"

He gave me a weird look and said no.

So I said, "Aw, man- you're missing out! In my dreams I am a cigarette fairy in cigarette land!"

He says "In my dreams, you're a brunette."

!!!!!

ew


*****

Friday, July 13, 2007

"murder, most foul"
Current mood: amused


so today, this guy comes up to the register, looks at me, drops his BEER, and says...


"OH MY GOD, you didn't KILL somebody, did you?"

"No, you're thinking of a tear drop."

BIG sigh. "Oh, thank GOD!..... So what's the star for?"

****

Saturday, July 14, 2007

experiment
Current mood: determined


after closing up the coffeeshop one night, i decided to write on a paper bag--

on one side it said "on the other side of this bag you will discover the meaning of life", and i left the other side blank.

i put the bag on the steps in the parking garage.

a man came down just after i did this, he picked up the bag, read the words out loud and exclaimed

"Well I don't give a good GODDAMN!"


****

free samples
Current mood: uncomfortable


we now have a box of free samples of stride gum at the gas station. it sits on the counter by the register.

last night a man came in and asks me this question: "What is this stride stuff? Some kind of erection gel?"

"No sir," I reply. "Thats chewing gum."

"Oh, heh. I thought it was some kind of erection gel (laffs) (pause) ...Not that I need it...."

heh.

***


Friday, September 14, 2007

an open letter to wes craven
Current mood: disappointed

look,

you've had a good run. no one denies that A Nightmare on Elm Street and Last House on the Left weren't incredible, psychological feats-- and, you know, BRA-VO! with movies like Shocker and People Under the Stairs....

but, Wes-

The Hills Have Eyes?

Projectile kidneys and bad ammunition decisions just aren't scary... they're just.... gross. It felt like a bad spin off of the ORIGINAL Texas Chainsaw Massacre (a MASTERPIECE), kind of the same vibe "Joey" produced as it spun off from "Friends" and into the Pit of Unimaginable Sorrow.

In conclusion, and with the deepest respect of one of your most loving fans, and standpatter Horror movie adherents... Give it up.

"With Love and Squalour"

.M.


****


Thursday, January 17, 2008

good news!
Current mood: busy

i decided to watch passion of the christ last night.
i can't imagine people in the cinneplex trying to eat popcorn watching that.

so, anyway, this has solidified my desire to get a portrait of mary on the back of my right leg. i've tossed the idea around for a while-- i'm not xtian by any means, but Mary was one hell of a woman.

and i like women.


****
Wednesday, April 23, 2008

girl: having a girl:
Current mood: tom waits


anthony said:

"i heard having a girl sucks all the beauty out of you"

i didn't say anything. he wasn't talking to me (persay)--

anthony doesn't really talk to anyone,

well-

in particular...

he just sort of talks...



but i keep thinking about it

i gained forty two million pounds when i was pregnant

and i fucked up a lot of my skin

and things don't really work as well as they used to

and my emotions are bizarre

and i'm sensitive to the point you almost can't touch me



you know



all the usual stuff



and i didn't obsess over this dumb thing anthony said

but i did stare at my face so long i didn't recognize myself

and my hands weren't mine

my arms grew three times the size

and floated to the ceiling

and i jumped, but was too heavy

so i had to watch them leave .



i didn't know what i was doing, those years ago, many years now, and sometimes i feel like i wasted my best years and have forsaken all my opportunity, and wasted my mind and love and attention on all kinds of lame, mundane, ordinary nonsense... and now here i am, with crops and riverfulls of intelligence and talent tht was NEVER harvested, and has deposited itself under my skin in bunches and slid down my face like a mask....



i know i'm being self-indulgent and pitiful



yeh, well....



i'm having a tom waits kind of day


****

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

25
Current mood: argumentative

everyone i know says 25 is a bad age
everyone seems to go thru the same "quarter-life crisis"
the ceiling gets closer...
(deep breath)
ohhhmagod....

i'm so tired today
yesterday, i drank a lot of beer and stayed out in the sun way too much
i didn't drink any water
and i didn't wait an hour before i got in the pool after eating...
so i was pretty much finished at 1030 pm
and went to sleep early
and could sleep more if you let me

***

i feel a morrissey song coming on

***

look you-

i fine tune my integrity everyday
the rules are always changing
so is the arena

i can't figure out
your criticism, and why it's so easy to dispense
i'm your protege, fine
you made me
i'm alive

now what

don't you think i wanted you?
are you mad because you loved me once
or you still do?

getting a bit personal, well
so are you
and what i do or DO NOT DO
is not up for discussion

evidently, YOU
don't know me
as well
as you thought.


****
Tuesday, September 16, 2008

million dollar lips
Current mood: dirty

last night was crazy at the bar-
since the hurricane passed thru
the restaurant is the only place for miles and miles (sic)
which had any power
so
it was like a friday night
which was good
very good
but long
and today
i am tired...

anyway-

so the last customer to leave last night
sat against the wall, far from the bar
and as i was closing
he waved and came over to me and said

"i have been watching you all night.
i find you so intriguing."

this kind of thing always makes me uncomfortable
but i play it off well,
because "mandy-the-show"
was in full effect
so- i don't remember WHAT i said-
but it had to be something over the top
and flirty
and ridiculous
and HE does this:

he says: "You have beautiful lips."
and gives me ten dollars
and then leaves

****

they all fall under the spell of my natural pout
(ha)

but it was flattering
and kind of neat
and hey

my lips made me an extra ten bones.

***

speaking of me saying things over the top
and flirty and whatever else

i had a particularly annoying customer
whom coincided with my brain to mouth function being set to JACKPOT

when he misunderstood my description of a certain menu item
((( i said it smelled of cinnamon )))
he replied:

"No one's ever told me i smelled of cinnamon before.
today i think i'm a bit musky.
i smell like sweat and 18 holes of golf."

to which my instant retort was

"Maybe some girls like the smell of 18 holes on a man."

****

THAT was a bad call....


****