imposters in this country

i want to ride thru the desert
again
my back to the wind
bellowing and blowing me over the sand mountains
same colour as the sky type

with this lock on my heart
i sink like a safe
in a thousand gallon tank
i hit the glass bottom
and wait

where are you
ma puce
where have you gone
where i can't hear you
you need to get up
we need to run
before the sun runs out on us

fast as your feet can
hop into my van
i'll drive towards the sun tonight
you won't waste a minute
to stare at my lips
we'll just go
fuck all this
let's go

it's crazy but i just can't pretend
you're like a song that is stuck in my head
don't go now
don't disappear
it's so easy for me
and i like it here
don't go now
dear

****
and then we made our way
up in the valley
i webbed a spiders wish of gold mouth-full of kiss
on the yew roots and
under your hand
we always have to meet again

you promise me you won't cause a scene
it's nothing new but you're new to me
i don't want a love song a sonnet
or prose
we'll just walk together
and see how it goes....

too much, too soon

interesting what you said just now

now i feel as if i have something to think about

other than i have no idea what in the hell im doing

and my equalizer wont stabalize

if you have any suggestions shout them out

all i know i a faucet somewhere has been shut off

i am listening for the drips

but they just wont echo

hmmm....

everything is interesting again
and i am thinking again
and i am also
calming down

and i learned tonight what the line is
and where
tonight i was able to perceive it
hold it in my thoughts
in the present
thru the duration

i understand the need for a seperation

it's been saturating
without any good time
just moments
that begin to lose their magic
because a moment should be fleeting
not repetitious

words start to lose a little meaning

i am thinking
"already?"

and i hope it is just me

so we'll see
what happens tomorrow
more importantly
what happens
the next day

and if i really will stay...

***

i just don't know

the blood constellation

that we made

will stay above you

as you sleep

and dream of me

con-junction-junction

yesterday
i thought to myself

"i really torched everything"

as i looked at the linoleum
with bits of a previous life
scattered and pasted on like a collage
still sticky with despair
and rock candy hard

i will have to use a power sander if i ever want them up

and whimsically enough
the old apartment kept playing in my head

this is where we used to live


luckily there was a bottle of wine in the fridge

****

i feel like an arsonist

and maybe it is my condition
it is a pattern

and everybody's free to wear sunscreen tells us

don't be reckless with other peoples hearts and
don't put up with those who are reckless with yours

it's not that i meant to be reckless
it's not that i meant to burn it all down,
but i did
and i do
and i will again

i fall
soooo
sooo
soo
so
d
a
m
ne
dhard


i can't stop myself
i never want to
and sooner than you know it
i'm craving the lonely
all over again

and it is good to be lonely

but i am a bit afraid of myself now
because
i am in sheep's clothing

****

i don't play games
i never do

it's like a fever
my black snake moan

i need you in every pore
i need you filling up all my lungs
i need you to pull my freaking hair

but

heh

buyer beware....

****
these things used to be mine, i guess they still are i want them back


****


get on

the beginning

well, hello

i've missed you all

i haven't been away

see?






much has changed.
so it goes.


be right back....