i'm not mad i'm... something else

i feel tired. i feel patient and impatient.

***

it is raining.
this is fine, except my windshield wipers stopped working a few months ago.
i rain-x'ed the beejesus out of my van, however
it doesn't help that much.

***

every morning- well,
sometimes
some mornings
when i wake up
you think i am mad.

well,
i can't be a supernova all the time.

last night, venus and jupiter aligned-
and
you were right (you are right)
it was special (it is)

that doesn't mean
i can't be quiet about it

i can't try to forget
the wet black highway
and us hydroplaning
leaving soggy treadmarks
on the freeway
i stared at my hands
because i was scared....

NOT because i was mad-
i am NOT mad
i am something else entirely

***

so, what?
(can YOU hear it? i can)

WwOoMmAaNn!!
WwHhAaTt IiSs TtHhEe PpRrOoBbLlEeMm??

me: huh?

heh.

it's not that there is something to tell,
there is nothing to tell
nothing of any value
not really-
my head, my heart
all wells
i'm just... out there
right now
and maybe feeling
a little ignored
so
i went to bed
and it was
AAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so


nice,

and now with the door closed
i get my space.