i hate cars

i hate cars because mine is broken and i can't get around when i need to

lucky there are plenty of places accessible by foot, and i don't mind walking

((except for when it is 200 degrees outside))

and i hate bumming rides from people

and i hate being broke

i got this promotion and i thought

"Great! I will have more money!"

but you know,

i feel like i have less money

and i definitely don't have a car

my new problem

people who allow their kids to come and sit at a bar



i need to check the ohio state government website and see what the actual laws are regarding "under-21'ers" at a bar are, if any. in the past i have known it to be something along the lines of:
1. establishment loses liquor liscense
2. bartender is fined up to 500$

or maybe it is simply as long as a parent is present everything is fine.

***

the real issue is, where i work, way too many parents allow their kids to hang out at the bar and play the megatouch games-
these kids will take up 2 or 3 VALUABLE bar seats, so bartenders lose money where they're there, which is rude.

but subsequently,
i feel it is irresponsible to expose your child to the kind of behaviour that takes place at the bar-
our restaurant is already family oriented
the only places available in the store for adults to relax without the screeching cacophony of young children running all around is our patio and, supposably, the bar.

today, a woman allowed her son to sit at the bar and play the games, and i told her nicely that we do not allow anyone under 21 at the bar, and

long long long story short

she got really really shitty with me.

i don't get why this is such a hard concept for parents to understand.
i am a parent
and
i certainly wouldn't feel comfortable with NOR would i allow my little girl to be unattended at a bar, and
NOR would i ever DREAM of sitting at a bar with her in my company while i got shitfaced
i don't even DRINK
when i am with her at a restaurant, because the last thing i need
is some cop pulling me over
smelling wine on my breath and
losing my kid because i couldn't wait to tie one on
until i got home.

***


wtf parents??

kids are precious
and
you should get to know the person you are raising
because
that person does not belong to you

they are on their own individual, unique path thur life

your duty is to guide them
protect them
help them grow
and hopefully
raise a decent human being that you can be proud of


parenting is a privilege
a responsibility
and the greatest honour
that has ever been bestowed upon myself.

everyone, meet roger mouse

(by Dave, Skincraft, Northside)


at long last, a new tattoo.

if anyone has ever read the children's book, The Halloween Play, you may recognize little Roger Mouse making his debut.



ISBN-10: 0061357960

my favourite book as a kid.

stupid car

my car broke down

who has a car for me?

.u.n.h.i.p.

i don't fit in.

this is true anywhere, but mostly among my peers. i simply cannot follow most of what they're saying.

confused? don't be.

i am 25, but i may as well be 80.

i work with about 30 people, 99% of which are under 27, and i feel we have nothing in common. essentially, i am the resident pariah.

integration isn't my strong point.

but this could be due to the fact that i don't cavort with them outside of work (that whole "fraternizing" clause, although my managerial counterpart is the glue holding the clique together)

or it could be because i have real, grown-up responsibilities, such as a family. combine that with being among the 1% of those employeed who DOESN'T live with their parents, and reasons start lining up like dominoes.

thus, i have no "I'm SO hungover-Jefferson Hall-Jager Bomb-vomiting at random" style stories to share. my stories are mostly recalled from a time when i didn't appreciate the expanse of my youth.

now i'm a "mommy"

and i suppose "mommies" aren't very exciting.

it's as if i piss myself out of excitement when i put a fresh bag in the vaccuum cleaner.

but truly, i have never felt at ease with my generation.

i feel like i'm standing on the gound looking up at them, like hot air balloons, wearing funny graphic t's and girl friday hats: but the clouds are all catching fire and i'm yelling at them to come back down, but i'm speaking in some extra-planatery tongue which no one can understand.

it's a code, i think. and i missed the part in high school where they teach you the code that makes you cool forever.


this is fine.
i'm ok with being square, and misunderstood, and speaking in ways no one can understand.

derrick tells me i have an ability to make peeople feel normal, but i think this is only because other people make me feel abnormal.

so here is what i have:

a mindful of novellas, largely unfinished
collections of words and ideas, half-chewed
an incinerator
and a bird, who watches for me, and helps me think in the upper echelons of the atmosphere, because i am here, and as well, i am there

i can notice
i can notice you holding your breath in a crowded room with no mirrors
i can look at you and see right into the deepest muddy fault lines of your soul,
although you would never know

my true talent is the veneer i raise like a shield

you cannot see in

but i can see through

****

also:

i got a new tattoo!!

frazzled

aaaahhhh

i just want some sleep

over and more

today was my last day of "classes"
really this entailed an algebra final (which i feel strongly about)
and my final crit in my studio class, wherein my instructor finally recognized my prowess
he described my style as "loose" which makes sense
cos, you know
i'm a willow charcoal kind of girl

that being said
it was an ultra long night at work, fraught with nonsense

i had to use my "stern manager" voice to break up some ridiculous arguements
but really it all comes don to parenting

when i was in atlanta for Sandy's funeral
her husband Pat and i spoke a little on the topic of parenting and he said:

"I just wanted to raise a good person"

i like that

i also like the line from Spanglish
where the hispanic mother asks her daughter

"Was it your wish to be someone so very different from me?"

i have been thinking a lot lately about my influence on my daughter
and how i would like her to think about me when she is older

i want her to think i am sweet and kind and loving
i want her to know she is always with me

one of my favourite songstresses, Poe,
has a song entitled "Hello"
and i have heard it millions (maybe) of times
but today i'm listening to it on the way to school and
a lyric catches me off-guard as i am singing (full throttle lung action)
which is:

"mothers are trails on stars in the night"

i know these words, i unconsciously sing them
and it hit me in the chest and i started bawling

in a way, i suppose, i feel as if mabyl can never catch me
because i am constantly being pulled away from her
be it work, school, or whatever else

i certainly felt that way about my own mother
and as a child i had these fantastical ideas about who she was
i thought she was some sort of magical fairy
who made all the bad things disappear
and who would rescue me from all the evils in the world, but

things don't happen like that

i tell myself over and over
it is different with mabyl and i
because every moment i am away i am working to come back to her

i just cry

****

sometimes it is all you can do

the answer is "YES"

i got a freaking 95 on that math test.

****

hells

yes

did i fall asleep and learn something?

ok, i'm not going to call myself a slacker, but i procrastinate

and i do this really only when i am too stressed out or tired to think

when i am, and i am trying to get some new material in my head (like in algebra) my brain forms this impenetrable wall of static

yesterday i made up a test from about 3 weeks ago, and i missed most of that lesson because i was in atlanta

also, i didn't study (well not very much- i tried....)

but somehow i knew everything (( ?? ))

i can't right now tell you in words what a y-intercept is, but damnit i knew the hell out of it yesterday afternoon

****

i celebrated with some PBR

off my chest

i'm sick of bad days. and i am sick of school.

nothing is working today.

yesterday was fine until about midnight.

do you ever fuck up, and even if it isn't a big deal, you obsess over it and make yourself feel really bad?

yeh, so do i.

i feel like everyone treats me like a kid, and doesn't think i'm capable of ANYTHING.

if i'm engaged i'm immature, if i'm reserved i'm a snob, so what the fuck?

today is my last day at school and i don't give a shit about going to any of these classes.

i just want to go home and forget everything for a while.

sugared blood, blood shu-GAH

here are some ideas from the people who have been witnessing my ultimate "prairie-woman" syndrome:

1. (most popular) my blood sugar is extremely low, and i am diabetic which is caused by a vegan lifestyle
[NOTE: i am calling bullshit. yes, i have changed my eating habits because it is entirely possible i am not eating well enough to maintain myself, but the fish and chicken didn't seem to help, thus BULLSHIT on my veganinity being called into question.... le nice trrry]
2. low blood pressure- NOW, this is possible as well because i have always had notably low blood pressure, but webMD leads me to believe this may have already righted itself, and would not pose such a lengthy problem
3. sinus and/or ear infection: ok, maybe now we're getting somewhere a little more realistic, except my face and ears feel fine. although, about 6 or 7 months ago i feared i had come down with mono and became frighteningly weak. the culprit was indeed an impacted sinus infection.
4. i'm pregnant. when people suggest this i want to punch them in the face. i am not goddamned pregnant nor do i intend to be, at any time, ever again, for the rest of my life, at all.

so how do you explain the shortness of breath, blood-sucking sensation in my shoulders, tingling hands, numb lips, and all around fog i wander about in, which causes me to be unfocused and confused?

am i having a series of small strokes?

as far as the low-blood sugar goes, after i chugged half a gallon of OJ on sunday i did almost a complete 180, and came back to life. my colour returned, i was singing, and joking with my co-employees. i have found that if i continuously drink the OJ i feel somewhat normal aside from the clamminess.

but today, with my migraine (that has finally subsided) and dementia (for lack of a better term) i still feel like i am sleepwalking, out of my body, and disconnected from my hands, my eyes, my face. my mind feels sluggish. i feel like i have water in my head where the contents used to be.

****

i stayed up late last night (not by choice) and read more on the conspiracy that courtney love plotted kurt's death to make it look like a suicide. there is a website authored by a private detective hired by love detailing the events surrounding the case, including odder than usual behaviour from courtney.

i used to think it was pretty cut and dry, and i also used to adore courtney love.

in my celebrity-free older years i'm not so sure.

inability

i need to get a grip but can't

my head is spinning constantly now, for about 5 days

i keep losing my thoughts

i feel like fainting



wtf?

resume of G. W. Bush

I found this on cincinnati's craigslist.org in the rants and raves section.
It's sad, true and FUCKED UP.
*****

I will be available in January 2009, am willing to relocate.



RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH (friend of John McCain!)
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S.Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of theU.S. stock market.


In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire, ' Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best frien ds, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corpo rate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts, and
I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election)

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the WorldTrade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

check it out...

www.cincinnati.blogspot.com
(for some reason i can't get my link to highlight so cut and paste, k?)

griff and co have lots of interesting cincinnati-esque going-ons listed on their blog.
definitely worth a look see.
some cool stuff coming up this summer at fountain square...

***

i'm admittedly not a huge cincy fan, but it has it's perks...

(( from the desk of an ex-urbanite ))

commenting returns

here are the rules:

email me directly if you need to bitch at me, DON'T pollute my blog with pissy psycho-babble
if you can't email me directly, write me a letter

if writing a letter is not an option, send out an intergalactic mental whisper

or you could simply piss off

****

i'm very very tired

and angry at people who feel the need to treat me poorly for no good GODDAMNED reason

brawlin'

so i pulled into a BP station, and
no sooner did i exit my car
this woman pulls up, maybe a foot from my bumper
and parks.

i look around.

we two are the only patrons
frequenting this establishment.



and my plan is to fill up,
then tool around in the "wild bean cafe"
in search of 10 hour old coffee,
so to be courteous
i walk over to her window and say

"i'm going to be a few minutes here if you don't want to wait behind me"

and she begins spouting off a string of nasty
BULLSHIT
about how i had somehow chosen the wrong pump
and she in no way intended to move herself
and that she would be waiting right there
when i returned
((yadda, yadda))

****

and-

i have weathered way too much
SHIT
from other people lately, and THIS
was the LAST i could take
and
MUCH to my surprise
i snapped
and ((in ascending fashion))
replied:

"well i was juST TryInG to be NICE, GODDAMNIT!!
NOW I'm going to take my SWEET ASS TIME!!"

which i did

and when i came back
she was still yelling at me from her car
and i waved her words away with my hand
and drove off
annoyed

and somewhat amused...