a friend said....

"in your email
you told me you have been avoiding and
ignoring me on purpose...
really?
why?"

and i felt stuttery, put on the spot.

i should have had a better answer, a more calculated answer.

i gave her a lot of mumble.

then i gave her the correct answer,
which was

"I am really self-absorbed"

she scoffed, and told me that didn't sound right
because,
it seems laffable to her
i could be so self-absorbed
it would cause me to abandon a friendship.

well,

sadly (?)

no.

it is so difficult for me to maintain friendships.
not because of a lack of interest, mostly.

i'm not sure why.

i could go into reasons, but then,
i would give away all my secrets.

...

i love disappearing.

...

big blue lake
boat
barefoot

in the fog

with the yew and
poplars

we lost our last oar
somewhere
on the shore

you
and i

our laffs fading
into the breeze

my hair tips rest
on my knees

we can't see
for miles
in this fog

just you
just me

sixty degree
something

big blue lake
boat
and
barefeet