.p.e.o.p.l.e.

ok...

i want to know who broke into the restaurant
and gave my entire staff a lobotomy
when i wasn't looking.

if there was some sort of awards ceremony
for "dumbest questions ever asked,
at any time, in the history of the planet"
MY staff would be disqualified from the running
due not only to the amount and veracity
at which said questions (and comments) were fired,
but also because of the sheer magnitude of extraordinary stupidity required
to dream up statements that idiotic.

they would win every single award, in every single category
except for possibly lighting
because it takes EVERY one of my employees
to screw in a light bulb.

new teeth

yesterday i got to visit the dentist
he was very nice, and sedated me before i had to have some super fun drilling done in my mouth



it took me all day to recover
but my teeth are prettier than ever

i wish i had

a giraffe with the a neck so long it went thru the clouds to the moon
because i would sit on it's head
and fish for meteors

what would i eat?

starflys and atmosphere

i wouldn't cry
because my tears would freeze
and fall like comets
on the earth

and the sky would be empty, then
for miles

my giraffe would fall without the ground
and i would be alone on the moon

who would hear me if i yelled to go home?

a passerby asteroid?
a spaceship?


an alien hand waves
says,
"goin my way?"

he would offer me shipwrecks and trees
butterscotch and socks
a teal sea
a book to read
vivaldi
os swiss cheese

or all the things that humans loved
to see new things
and different worlds

to speak in all the exotic tongues of gods,
but i would stay
with the moon

somedays
i would wonder weather
i should have left
with the martian

somedays i would try to think
of everything i knew about russia

i would begin to forget the names
of cities, and plays, and friends
i made

and my heart would slow
the sun comes
and goes

and my breath would dry
and stick on my mouth
and in my nose

sun come
sun go

i think last
of you
here
the last kiss breath
on my ear
in the night
by my car
when the air cooled
in the wind
under moon
over me
under you
i think last

of this...


goodnight, moon

yesterday::: day from hell

or mostly just long.

but i spent most of my day at work running interference...
now
here i have to be very careful what i say because
since this blog is linked thru my profile to my work blog (which needs more than a little t.l.c.)
i never know who might be checking this out
so if you can crack the code below
there is a secret message detailing what my true feelings about yesterday are:::

q vaeh ocem yo nleqlel leltioal q socx sodf lg z ocepote eogen
ahtt dhl oeelodgve iq lg ey mndlrm gdzff lg elgg hnat tfell
q mznd lvln nluen yo describe
dhl eoutzlnl q ozem fcem sodf

nzsdzrws.


****

then i got pulled over because my van is loud
nothing happened but
i still got pulled over
and i thought to myself

"its an 85 vanagon
is it SUPPOSED to be quiet?"

le sigh....

so tired
and in a funk too

malaise, perhaps

i'm exanimate yet again

edible flowers

this is a randomly occurring thought to me
but on the night of New Years Eve (2007)
i threw a party, wherein i cooked a .r.i.d.i.c.u.l.o.u.s.
amount of food-

one of my offerings were edible flowers
(naturally i didn't cook these, i purchased a pack from wild oats)

they looked a little like this:



i was the most difficult thing trying to coerce my friends into tasting them

i found them a bit chewy
and tasting heavily of flowers

...

have you ever tried edible flowers?
i really, really want to know

3 years tomorrow

this is us. we are derrick and mandy.tomorrow is our 3 year wedding anniversary.



we like to party. serious.




sometimes we make faces. like this.



sometimes like this.



i know what your thinking. we look like brad and angelina. well, thats true.



marriage is hard to do. it's full of compromise, sacrifices, mistakes and madness.

but, when all else fails...

you can always do the fraggle.

week in review

this is what i have learned this week:

1. I like to party. My kidneys hurt. Wish I was joking.
2. Fleas are difficult to get rid of. A stray cat whom we allow in our home on occassion brought epic amounts of fleas in with her. First it was just an odd one here and there, but by mid-week we were .i.n.f.e.s.t.e.d.
And not only that, but were displaced from out home for many days, and stayed with my mother. If any of you remember last years posts (of COURSE you do) then you recall how famously the last stint at my mothers house went.
After fruitless attempts at bombing and spraying the house, we thought our only hope was to call an exterminator until someone reccommended THIS amazing product:



worked like a freaking CHARM. Coupled with OCD stylee vacuuming, and a MASSIVE house cleaning ( I mean- it is UNREAL how clean our house is. the carpets look freaking NEW) we are flealess and home again.

Sorry, mom. I love you, but we just aren't meant to live together.

So... you know. Buy Borax.

3. My VAN is a total woman. You have to finess her to get her to accelerate...

4. My aura is uncontrollable. It affects anyone around me. My aura will reach out and wrap its sinewy fingers around your throat until you are drawn close and then finally consumed.

I took this quiz and got these results:

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

What Color Is Your Aura?

it's true. my grandmother called it "the shining"

5. I am a creature of routine. And being displaced made me burst into tears every five minutes. I love my peaceful lifestyle, my early morning walks, my daughter throwing rocks in the river, my pilates, the coffee at main cup, and a slow ride in LUX.

6. Angie is really leaving. All the summer is almost gone. And next week, so will she...

7. I liked it. It made me nervous but I like it. I can't stop thinking about it.


how could you ever stop thinking about it?

anyone know whats wrong with me?

i'm for sure it is my blood sugar, but
let me describe tonight for you:

i tried to stay on top of eating enough all day
but about 6:30 i started freaking out a little
meaning:

i got dizzy (usual for when i go longer than i should without eating)
but very quickly after i:
began trembling- not just my hands but my arms and upper body
tripped over my feet
became very lightheaded
my shoulders felt hollow
my lips were numb
i started seeing spots
i became very pale (i found out because people said- "wow hey why are you so pale all of the sudden?")
and the room was spinning like a tilt-o-whirl from hell

so....

i ate a chicken tender and chugged some o.j.
which leveled me out enough to make it to the appropriated eating time
i fed myself a proper dinner
and was back to normal a half hour after eating...

i won't be able to visit a doctor until winter, so
in the the meanwhile i need to eat well and on time, but

wtf??

any ideas??

erm....

haha

what is this?