in order to make himself look better in the eyes of a woman he has had to lie about me and the relationship the two of us used to have.
in high school we would talk for hours on the phone telling each other dark secrets about ourselves.
we went thru large periods of discovery together.
for a while we were always there for each other, and i loved him, and felt like i would always have this friend.
since the start of this year our friendship has been strained, and i have wondered why he hadn't been returning my calls, or shown any interest in getting together.
i found out earlier this week that his girlfriend doesn't like me, and that would have been fine left at that.
what i have come to learn is that he has been making up outrageous stories about me to her in order to appease her insecurities, or make himself look like a better person or a combination of the two.
i have always thought of myself as a mostly reasonable person, but the things he said (OH, the THINGS he had the NERVE to say) have hurt me so badly. under my new philosophy (and what a very close friend had told me was "the bad things people do only have the substance YOU give them") i tried to pass the feelings quietly and release the hurt and anger and know that it was not my doing, it was in the heart of my friend, and had been there for some time, because these things are so deeply rooted-- but in the end, it was the length of time, and all my efforts put into our friendship that got the better of me, and while i wouldn't say i lashed out, i DID make my feelings clear.
they fell on deaf ears.
but i have said what i needed to say, and i can leave it at that because i have to accept that this may never (and most likely WILL never) be repaired. and i am left to mourn the death of a once wonderful friendship.
how long, i wonder, has this been the case?
i can only believe it to be recently. maybe i just want to believe that.
whatever reason or action or domino effect that has taken place THIS will be my final summation, and it is
AS WE GROW, WE LOSE. AS WE GAIN, WE TIRE. AS WE ARE GATHERED, WE ARE LEFT. WE ARE ALWAYS MET TO BE FORGOT.
AND THE FASTEST WAY TO EACH OTHERS HEARTS IS NEVER A STRAIGHT LINE...
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