about happiness.
...
and i find it strange that i'm happy, or moreover: happy for the sake of being happy-
without all the Pollyanna aftertaste or
the thick, marmalade flavoured sap of Field of Dreams,
no,
more like
an immediate call to explore my life
protect it
cherish it
set myself apart from my family, because
i am not them.
i refuse.
instead i have forged a code of ethics revolving around my ideas of
self-value
i'm worth more than i sell myself hourly to my job;
intelligence and aptitude
and a certain, peculiar manner of thought processing
all my own
and all completely misunderstood.
there is freedom in owning your life-
forever i pined for a dark highway
tall trees
scent of wild, feral earth
in the west
by the pacific
salt in the breeze
and complete autonomy...
it's still hard not to have it
but i still want it enough to know
i will have it
one
of
these
days (of mine)
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