codicil

i just now-- this very moment-- confirmed the amount of time in which it will take to open Brylan's is "indefinate".

i will be kept ABREAST of things.

was i not pulling my weight?

....or what?

???

hopefully by spring..... grrrrrr, this is lame.

mighty lame.

for those who don't know...

as my wave of alluring elusivity wanes on, i felt it would be reasonable to post an update:::

i am essentially working three jobs-- YES i am still opening "that coffeeshop" (its called Brylan's) but we've had some setbacks with the house and things are just moving slow overall-- so i stop in from time to time to check the progress.... it'll be a while.

so as not to get out of practice, i work a few mornings a week at a coffeeshop called espresso 2 (or espresso squared) where my boss thinks i have no idea what i'm doing, as if english were my second language. i dont even want to talk about it.

i work nights at Shooters Sports Grill in Loveland. when it is busy i do very well. im still new there so i havent been given any of the best sections yet. im hoping people will quit.

in my down time i enjoy activities such as being a wife and mother, sleeping, eating, and cleaning up shit, both from babies and dogs.

i'm in a pretty anti-social place. i prefer not to venture outside the house unless it is dark and i cant see other people. i'm in need of privacy and the only place that occurs is in the car.

this feels like penance.

****

a lady in the gas station tonight couldnt get my goji juice to ring up properly, so she tried to give me the drink for free, but i INSISTED i pay for it, and once she got the price for the juice i paid her with the exact change but she says not to worry about the PENNY and i was like "Oh No You Dont" and i sat there and dug out what i owed her and i left and derrick was laughing at me, but you know what:::

I was tempted, and I rose above it,

damnit.

mandy:: 1

karma::: 0

is my whore showing?

i missed serving.
i really did.

some lady called me a "waitress" today-- i felt it was archaic.

"yes," i said, "but also i'm a person. sometimes I go out to eat."

well, i didn't SAY it, but it was definately reflected in my body language and 50-watt smile.

theres something about the restaurant that always makes me go back. sure the money is outstanding, and you know, i'm not above winking at an old man for an extra dollar. i once let a pastor smack my ass.

and if you tip me well enough-- for long enough-- i will marry you and have your child.

whores and radiators

it has been three months since i quit smoking.

i had one today.

i was unremarkable, but not bad.

i dont want another one now.

perhaps it is attributable to the sadness im hoisting these days.

someone who has all my things keeps trying to reach me, and i keep thinking "they were just things"

and they were

and i have nothing, no things

i was woken up from a nap and there was anger and noise and more sadness

words are just things, too, right

yeah,

thats all.

breed out

http://www.vhemt.org/

i wish i knew more about links and things on the "interweb"

but this site is about Voulentary Human Extinction-- they make some pretty interesting points, and I have to say I am not opposed to what they're about...

.c.a.s.h.

...out there on the Yuma Flats i heard a story of seven people dead in the sand, the sun, like a pied piper, lied as they marched on-- in the circles they left footprints and bootprints and never named a single one...


"Don't you know heartaches are heroes when their pockets are full"

...i do, and deserts, too, always crossed by some Kerouac plot, but i know it is only the dirt and the sand that stay and stand still...


...too true, the taxi ride of wind, i could dream as hard as i can, to the west and north, and still not cast the slightest shadow over my shoulder...

it makes me cry

this is the Yangtze River Dolphin, the only species of freshwater dolphin in the world- there hasn't been one seen alive since 2002.



this dolphin is listed as Critially Endangered (Possibly Extinct)

In Indonesia, Orangutangs are killed as pests. They are listed as Critically Endangered.

It's hard to imagine our world without animals we grew up fascinated by as kids.

http://www.arkive.org/species/GES/

This link will take you to the updated Red List of endangered species.

We have to start caring.

Our world is dying.