here it is, part 2

this is the back yard of the coffee house.

it's intense.

i dream in bad movies

so i had a dream last night that i moved to a small kentucky town and opened a restaurant. and it's evident very quickly that the town is hiding some kind of awful secret. so at the town social to welcome my arrival i ma told in confidence by the figurehead of the ladies gardening club that the town has been terrorized by a GIANT RHINO for years.




For the rest of my dream I get to watch as this GIANT RHINO comes (quietly) out of no where, charges people and their pets (one happened on a llama farm). It's a little intense, because the rhino runs right at and over me, but for whatever reason, I remain unscathed.

I rally up a group of townspeople to stand up to the GIANT RHINO, but the efforts fail, a lot of people die and I end up with two other women running wildly thru a shopping mall from a rhino who is chasing us. Just when we see the exit and think we can escape, another GIANT RHINO breaks thru the wall. So we run left and right, but each time we hit a new wall a new GIANT RHINO appears, and now they're all saying schmaltzy one liners such as

"Times Up, Humans"

or


"There's no escaping the GIANT RHINO!"

I woke up before it was over so I'm not sure if I made it out alive, or if the national guard was called in for assistance.


so....


what the fuck?

today...

i'm feeling downright somber. i had a really fucked up experience last night after dropping kat off...

it really sort of shook me up, so i'm still processing.

for lunch i finished up the rest of my malai kofta from royal taj.

you know, i kinda decided that all the indian restaurants around town are essentially the same, so i pretty much order the same thing everytime.

vive la basmati.

fuck you loveland

you heard me.

here it is, part 1

this is the house where the coffee shop is.

we finally had air conditioning put in yesterday.

glorious, seeing as how the temperature is expected to reach 101 today, but it will feel like one million, because this is cincinnati, and we have the shittiest weather in the world.

its true.

i've been everywhere in the whole world and the weather is awesome in all those other places.

(no. thats not true at all)

picketed fence

i love my family.


*****
i think i hate my family.

i know thats harsh.

not the kind of "hate" one associates with white cops killing black teenagers--

the kind of "hate" you associate with bunions, or horseradish.

*********

my mother and i do not like each other, now, right now-- maybe once, years ago...

i think i was able to keep her mildly amused as an infant. infants, tho, are a lot like work.

an infant-- at first-- is like starting day at a new job; you come in showered with a haircut, pressed clothing, the works-- show up five minutes early, eager, apple-cheeked, full of promise...

gradually you lose steam. you start hitting the snooze alarm, you start showering only twice a week. before long you start calling off, sometimes twice in the same week. your excuses get weaker-- it starts with a broken car, a broken car leads to a mystery illness, suddenly you're collecting bereavement pay for a fake death...

one day you don't show up.

no phone call. no message.

its a wednesday, and you

disappear.

i'm not sure if i believe so much in post-partum depression so much as i believe in post-partum boredom.

***

at any rate, my mom and i dislike each other. we pretend-- covincingly, sometimes-- that we're old pals. other times it's like seeing thru a window.

occassionally, it's a mirror, and while I try not to gauge my reflection in it, this mirror has been in place for 24 years, and ultimately responsible for my decision to quit smoking.

you know-- what is it about forgivness that it feels like lottery balls in a tumbler? how come you, or I, could give it, 100%, in the flesh, but the recipient is always holding out for a better deal?

how many times do i have to say?

i can't say it. i'm tired of those word and thier mouth feel.

i'm tired of this spiny mocking dance we do.

let's shut if off

anytime will do.

******

i'm not a bad kid. i never was.

it's made me hostile.

the flavour of hostility is like rotted steel and blood.

******

RESPECTING YOUR ELDERS...

how can i?

my parents?

thats a different story.

they're exempt, they always are.

and ULTIMATELY

the fact that THOSE TWO PEOPLE love me the way they do makes everyone else so jealous.

it just IS.

I feel it.

I have felt it since I was old enough to know what it was.

**

did you think i didn't notice?

**

yeah....

i guess you did.

**

**

**

damnit.

wreck your car

it has to be said....

not that it's not been said before....

i hate driving in cincinnati.

no one signals, no one looks, everyone is on a cell phone....

you know- i have insurance-

i should let these people hit me. that way i could get my scion.

dos anos!

this was us on our two year anniversary.

this is officially MY longest relationship.

i guess i CAN committ to things after all--

CERTAIN things--

this man puts up with all my spontaneous, crazy, mega-weird nonsense--

he says he enjoys it,

and, whatever,

he loves me--

and i am better for it.

post .1.0.0.

horray.

stop me

i'm starting to think i don't like dogs. i'm finding that it's not just the odd dog, but most dogs that bother me. maybe i have no soul...

in order to prove i still have a soul, i have returned once again to my vegan ways. it's been about a week now, andi'm already feeling healthier.

i do what i can.

"...cos it too HOT!"

damn.

today there was a heat advisory, like we wouldn't have picked up on it otherwise ("Oh YEAH it IS hot outside....") ... the news reminded you to check on pets and the elderly.

pets....check

elderly... don't own any.

it was miserable in the house. i turned on the ice machine, but it wasn't too happy about it and didn't make much ice.

i have to start painting and upholstering the tables so they lose that stunning hospital cafeteria chic. i bought some spray paint for the primer coat but, alas, it says to use in low humidity....hmmm....

i guess spray paint only works in the winter in cincinnati.

damn ohio valley.

Hey- whats up with people who pronounce Missouri "miz-OR-uh"

anyone?

HORRAY!

and today began the real job. I'm working in the shop (which is in a house built in the 1800's) with NO air conditioning (ack!) getting everything set up and whaever else.

I'm really having a good time, I have a great feeling about the whole thing.

This week I'm contacting vendors to supply our bottled beverages- I chose San Pellegrino as opposed to Perrier, because the latter just isn't classy any longer- and the perrenial favourites like Vita2O and Odwalla. I was going to contact POM but I read on the PETA website that they were doing these fucked up tests on rabbits and mice.

So I said FUCK YOU, POM.

I expect you, loyal readers, (Angie), to do the same.